My honest stone.

I produced the music video for singer Kaz Hawkin’s song Lipstick and Cocaine, among others. Looking at the footage of Kaz singing for the video at Park Avenue Hotel Belfast, I first saw the scar on her from an attack that almost took her life. Producing this video was an emotional journey for me.

Kaz has a song called Better Days, and better days are ahead.

I myself am a depressive, and I know what it’s like to be at the bottom.

But I always know something better is going to come.

Creativity saved me, like the way music saved Kaz. She is an inspiration.

I want people to realise that you can get better with your mental health. There is support out there.

Call a doctor. Call a friend. Call your relatives.

Go out and seek support. Know you aren’t failing. People think they’ve failed but they’re not.

Just go look for it. Just put up one more fight.

Kaz has been a huge influence in me. The way I look at myself. The way I look at friends. Kaz probably knows me better than anybody.
We’ve shared some very, very deep conversations that have always been brutal honest.

She is my honest stone. If I find I’m in a rut, or I need honesty or an opinion, it’s Kaz that I go to.

Without her, I probably wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. I wouldn’t have the encouragement or the confidence, because we all doubt ourselves as humans. She’s the one who gets me by the scruff of the neck and says, stop doubting yourself.

She was a rock of support when my father passed away. My dad and Kaz were great friends.

When we were burying his ashes, there were only a few friends and relatives and Kaz was among them.

Kaz has a very powerful, good, positive effect on me. It can be exhausting following her around sometimes, but it is good craic. And she is very funny.

I can be who I am around Kaz. And she can be who is is around me. And that’s great.

Stephen Mulland and Kaz Hawkins

at Elmwood Hall Belfast

Story by Bout Yeh photographers Belfast